Raunch Reviews is a series about profanity. Not real profanity, but speculative swearing. Authors often try to incorporate original, innovative forms of profanity into our own fantastical works as a way to expand the worlds we build. Sometimes we’re successful. Often we’re not. In this series, I examine the faux-profanity from various works of sci-fi and fantasy, judge their effectiveness, and rate them on an unscientific and purely subjective scale. This is Raunch Reviews, welcome.

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The Author: David Gaider & BioWare

Work in Question: The Dragon Age Series

The Profanity: “Andreste’s Flaming Knickers”

Oaths have a long and sordid history. Often they emerge as a response to blasphemy laws/rules handed down by church leaders or, in many cases, the state. They’re a bit of rebellion by the laity, and they come in many forms. During the middle ages (especially 14th and 15th centuries), swearing by a deity’s body parts, excrement, or secretions were in fashion. And, as often happens with profanity, we see the minced variants show up later.

So, while it might sound silly, there’s a bit of “historical” accuracy at play here. Much of the faux-profanity in Dragon Age fits within a 15th-century theme. Andreste, in this case, is a prophet who has risen to deity status. Some consider her the bride of The Maker—the lone deity of Thedas—and according to the lore, she was burned alive by the Imperial Archon.

It’s from that “historical” event which the world pulls the oath, “Andreste’s Flaming Knickers.” It’s occasionally said by the mage Anders as the player moves around. It’s a bit morbid, but it works rather well in an in-game historical context, and it fits within a period-specific styling for faux-profanity. (It could be argued that “knickers” isn’t period-accurate since that term didn’t come into vogue until the 18th century, but this is fantasy, and I won’t ride them too hard.) “Flaming Knickers” is a bit of a mouthful. It doesn’t exactly roll smoothly off the tongue. In a thousand years, I’d assume there would be some linguistic drift or at least a simplified version. As it stands, the oath comes across as more of a silly colloquialism than anything a normal Thedaian would use in everyday speech. Plausible, but not common.

Score:  (3.5)

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🤬 Previous Raunch Reviews

• “Fangbanger” from Alan Ball’s True Blood
• “Mit’ka” from Brad Wright & Jonathan Glassner’s Stargate SG-1
• “Merlin’s Beard” from J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series
• “Drokk” from John Wagner & Carlos Ezquerra’s Judge Dredd
• “Skin Job” from Hampton Fancher & David Peoples’ Blade Runner
• “Frag” from J. Michael Straczynski’s Babylon 5
• “Gorram” from Joss Whedon’s Firefly
• “Prawn” from Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell’s District 9
• “By the Firsts” from K. M. Alexander’s Bell Forging Cycle
• “Smurf” from Raja Gosnell & Jordan Kerner’s The Smurfs (2011)
• “Dren” from Rockne S. O’Bannon’s Farscape
• “Quiznak” from J. Dos Santos & L. Montgomery’s Voltron: Legendary Defender
• “Smeg” from Rob Grant and Doug Naylor’s Red Dwarf
• “Burn Me” from Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time
• “Slitch” from Robert A. Heinlein’s Friday
• “Yarbles” from Anthony Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange
• “Cuss” from Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox
• “Feth” from Dan Abnett’s Gaunt’s Ghosts from Warhammer 40k
• “Shazbot” from Garry Marshall’s Mork & Mindy and Dynamix’s Starsiege: Tribes
• “Seven Hells” from George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice & Fire/Game of Thrones
• “Mudblood” from J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series
• “Frak” from Glen A. Larson’s, Ronald D. Moore’s, & David Eick’s Battlestar Galactica
• “Jabber” from China Miéville’s Bas-Lag series
• “Storm it”/”Storms”/”Storming” from Brandon Sanderson’s The Stormlight Archives

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Have a suggestion for Raunch Reviews? It can be any made-up slang word from a book, television show, or movie. You can email me directly with your recommendation or leave a comment below. I’ll need to spend time with the property before I’ll feel confident reviewing it, so give me a little time. I have a lot of books to read.

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